Stop trying to move so fast in a relationship. Marriage is something you can do later on in life. Live YOUR life man… I hate seeing people’s marriages go down the drain because they rushed into it.
After dinner, I was looking for my brother. I was going to ask him where he put my architect ruler, and I found him outside on the neighbor’s longboard. He had been outside for almost an hour learning how to longboard. I went back inside, and as I sat down in front of my blueprint, I couldn’t concentrate.
There’s been so many thoughts running through my mind, and I have yet to find the peace to sort them all out. Thoughts that include things like being ignored, always searching for approval, what I’m going to do with my life, etc… I’ve had a generous amount of time to think of all of these things, but not sort them out. So I got up, and went outside. This was totally out of my comfort zone.
The guy from next door was sitting in front of my drive way on the sidewalk, watching my brother longboard in circle around our small caul de sac. I was hesitant on starting conversation, but I knew for it to not be awkward standing out there, it was a must.
“Sup,” I said.
“Nothin’ much,” he said.
I don’t know where conversation went from there, but it bounced from school, to ethnicity, to places I’ve traveled, etc. I sat out there just finding any outlet to keep my mind off of all the problematic thoughts I had in my head.
After Joey had gotten off of the longboard, Lucas said, “it’s your turn.” I was kind of embarrassed, but I got on it anyway. Although I was just going up and down the street, and around the caul de sac, it felt good to be back on a board. I felt right. I knew where I belonged, and at that moment, it was right there on the board. Pushing away from the cement that lay under the wheels. Gliding through life, like I was gliding through my problems.
We all sat out there talking about random things, and then ended up playing Gameboys for the last hour and a half. Lucas was kind enough to let me borrow his gameboy to play his favorite game. It’s like Final Fantasy, so I like it so far.
Joey and him are going to hang out tomorrow and longboard while I have class, but it’s been settled that we’ll all get to know each other better. Especially since he’s the neighbor, and since he may be transferring to WSU too. Well, he’s in the process just like me.
I finally left my box of a room. Trapped in my room, like my thoughts are trapped in my head. I may not have vented my problems, but it did feel nice to forget about them for a bit.
Now it’s time to make things right, and that’s to settle this stupid little lover’s quarrel that I’ve made between John and I.
Thank you everyone for all of your kind words, and showing your concern for me, especially those who have told me that they will keep me in their prayers. Thank you all. I do pray for all of my followers at night (obviously not one by one…) but I do pray that everyone that I’ve “influenced” or “inspired” be happy, and that those who have confided in me get better. You all are wonderful, and I really don’t know where I’d be without you all.
When you want someone’s attention, but they’re too busy to give it to you.
Then there’s always someone else who’s been wanting your attention, and they finally get it because that first person doesn’t give you their attention.
That’ was confusing…. Hahaha.
Yesterday I let my emotions and my thoughts get the best of me. I barely got anything done. I killed all of my motivation to get things done. & I ate a shit load of food that I shouldn’t have eaten. So today, I’m going to pull it together. I’m sure church will help me with that.
Church, cleaning of my room, finishing of my homework, and somehow doing something to help myself relax. I’ve been wanting to watch the Notebook for the longest already (yes, I’ve watched it) but I know that it’s just going to anger me when I see the parents in the movie. Hahaaaaa.
Oh well. Alright, I’m off. Cellphone is going to be flying on airplane mode, so…
If you see this, then it’s me saying, “don’t bother.”
